Imaam Ibn Qayyim
al-Jawziyyah (may Allah have mercy on him) wrote:
The difference between
advice and backbiting is that the intent in giving advice is to warn a Muslim
against an innovator, a tempter, a cheat or a corrupt person. So you should mention
his affairs if a Muslim seeks your counsel about his companionship, dealings
with him and forming relationship with him as stated by the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) to Faatimah bint Qays when she sought his
counsel regarding marrying Mu‘aawiyah or Aboo Jahm. He said: “As for Aboo Jahm, he never puts down his
stick from his shoulder (i.e. he is always travelling), and as for Mu‘aawiyah
he is a poor man with no property.”[1]
Also, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to someone who
was travelling with an acquaintance of his: “When
you reach the town of his people, be careful of him.”[2]
So if backbiting occurs
in the form of sincere advice for the sake of Allah, His Messenger and His
Muslim servants, it is part of drawing nearer to Allah and one of the righteous
deeds. But if it occurs in the form of disparaging your brother, destroying his
honor, consuming his flesh and debasing him in order to diminish his status in
people’s hearts, then such is an incurable disease and a fire for good deeds
that devours good deeds the way fire devours wood.
Source: Ar-Rooh by Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah (may
Allah have mercy on him)
[2] Recorded by Aboo Daawood (4853): The isnaad of this hadeeth is
weak due to tadlees of Ibn Ishaaq and the condition of Abdullaah bin ‘Amr bin
al-Faghwaa’ al –Khuzaa’ee is unknown.
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