Wednesday 6 July 2022

Coping With Dispraise from Sincere and Insincere People

 

Whoever dispraised you is not free from three situations: it is either the person was truthful regarding what he said [about you] and his intention was to advise you and due to his love for you or he was truthful but his intent was to hurt you and embarrass you or he was lying.

If he was truthful and his intention was to advise you, then it is not proper for you to criticize him, become angry with him and hold grudge against him on account of that. Rather, it is good for you to take hold of his gift, because whosoever offers you a gift of your shortcomings has indeed shown you a destructive path so that you can avoid it. Therefore, it is necessary for you to be delighted with it and preoccupy yourself with removal of the blameworthy attribute from yourself if you can. But for you to be distressed, hate him and criticize him on account of it, then it is the peak of ignorance.

If the person’s intention, however, was to embarrass you, then you would have benefitted from his speech, since he guided you to your shortcoming if you were ignorant of it, in order to desist from it. This is one of the means of bliss. So, it is good for you to be delighted with it for attaining benefit through his speech; and all destructive evil characters in the hereafter, a person may only know about them from the saying of his enemies. Therefore, it is good for you to take advantage of it. If the intent of the enemy is to cause you embarrassment, then his crime is upon his own religion while it is a favour from him to you. Hence, do not be angry with him having benefited from his speech whereas it is harmful to him.

The third situation: He fabricated lies against you of which you are free from in the sight of Allaah the most High. You should not detest that nor preoccupy yourself with criticizing him. Rather, ponder over three matters:

First: If you are free from such shortcoming, you are not free from its likes, and what Allaah has concealed for you of you shortcomings are plenty; so thank Allaah the most High since He did not make him know about your shortcomings and He turned him away from you by mentioning what you are free from.

Second: This would serve as an expiation for your other evil deeds and sins. Everyone who backbites you has indeed given you gift of his good deeds, and everyone who praises you has indeed broken your back. So why should you be delighted that your back be broken and be sad for gifts of good deeds that will bring you close to Allaah the most High while you claim that you love closeness to Allaah!

Third: The wretched person has done harm to his religion so much so that he fell in the eyes of Allaah, ruined himself through his fabrication and exposed himself to Allaah’s painful punishment. So you don’t need to be angry with him in addition to Allaah’s anger that is upon him lest the devil makes you rejoice at his misfortune and say: ‘O Allaah destroy him.’ Rather, it is good for you to say: ‘O Allaah, rectify him, O Allaah accept his repentance, O Allaah have mercy on him’…”

Source: Maw’idhatul-Mu’mineen min Ihyaa Uloom ad-Deen, p. 445- 446 by Shaykh Muhammad Jamaal ad-Deen al-Qaasimee ad-Dimashqee; translated by Abdus-Samee Abdus-Salaam.

 

 

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