Whoever dispraised you is not free from three
situations: it is either the person was truthful regarding what he said [about
you] and his intention was to advise you and due to his love for you or he was
truthful but his intent was to hurt you and embarrass you or he was lying.
If he was truthful and his intention was to
advise you, then it is not proper for you to criticize him, become angry with
him and hold grudge against him on account of that. Rather, it is good for you
to take hold of his gift, because whosoever offers you a gift of your
shortcomings has indeed shown you a destructive path so that you can avoid it. Therefore,
it is necessary for you to be delighted with it and preoccupy yourself with
removal of the blameworthy attribute from yourself if you can. But for you to
be distressed, hate him and criticize him on account of it, then it is the peak
of ignorance.
If the person’s intention, however, was to embarrass
you, then you would have benefitted from his speech, since he guided you to
your shortcoming if you were ignorant of it, in order to desist from it. This
is one of the means of bliss. So, it is good for you to be delighted with it
for attaining benefit through his speech; and all destructive evil characters
in the hereafter, a person may only know about them from the saying of his
enemies. Therefore, it is good for you to take advantage of it. If the intent
of the enemy is to cause you embarrassment, then his crime is upon his own
religion while it is a favour from him to you. Hence, do not be angry with him
having benefited from his speech whereas it is harmful to him.
The third situation: He fabricated lies against
you of which you are free from in the sight of Allaah the most High. You should
not detest that nor preoccupy yourself with criticizing him. Rather, ponder
over three matters:
First: If you are free from such shortcoming, you
are not free from its likes, and what Allaah has concealed for you of you
shortcomings are plenty; so thank Allaah the most High since He did not make
him know about your shortcomings and He turned him away from you by mentioning what
you are free from.
Second: This would serve as an
expiation for your other evil deeds and sins. Everyone who backbites you has
indeed given you gift of his good deeds, and everyone who praises you has
indeed broken your back. So why should you be delighted that your back be
broken and be sad for gifts of good deeds that will bring you close to Allaah
the most High while you claim that you love closeness to Allaah!
Third: The wretched person has
done harm to his religion so much so that he fell in the eyes of Allaah, ruined
himself through his fabrication and exposed himself to Allaah’s painful
punishment. So you don’t need to be angry with him in addition to Allaah’s
anger that is upon him lest the devil makes you rejoice at his misfortune and
say: ‘O Allaah destroy him.’ Rather, it is good for you to say: ‘O Allaah, rectify
him, O Allaah accept his repentance, O Allaah have mercy on him’…”
Source: Maw’idhatul-Mu’mineen
min Ihyaa Uloom ad-Deen, p. 445- 446 by Shaykh Muhammad Jamaal ad-Deen
al-Qaasimee ad-Dimashqee; translated by Abdus-Samee Abdus-Salaam.
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