Imaam an-Nawawee (may
Allaah have mercy on him) stated:
Know that in the same
way that backbiting is forbidden for the one who speaks it, it is likewise forbidden
for the one who listens to it and approves of it. Thus, it is obligatory on the
one who hears an individual embarking on committing the prohibited form of
backbiting[1],
to forbid him from doing it as long as he does not fear any open harm resulting
from that. But if he does fear (harm) from that, then he is obligated to reject
the backbiting with his heart and to detach himself from that gathering if he
is able to do so. If he has the ability to reject it with his tongue or to cut
the backbiting off by changing the topic, then that becomes required of him. And
if he does not do that, then he has committed an act of disobedience (i.e.
sinned)
If he says with his
tongue: ‘Be quiet’ while desiring with his heart for it to continue, then Abu
Haamid al-Ghazaalee said: “This is hypocrisy. It does not remove him from the
sin he is upon. Rather, he must hate it with his heart.” If he is forced to
stay in that gathering in which backbiting is taking place, and he fears from
forbidding it, or he forbids it but it is not accepted from him and he cannot
find a way to separate himself from them, then he is prohibited from listening
and paying attention to the backbiting. Instead, his way out should be by
making remembrance of Allaah with both his tongue and heart or just his heart. Or
he should think about something else in order to preoccupy himself from having
to listen to it.
After having done this,
his hearing it without listening and paying attention to it will not harm him,
while he is in this mentioned state. If he is able after this, to withdraw from
them and they are still backbiting, then separating oneself is an obligation. Allaah
says: “And when you (Muhammad) see those who
engage in a false conversation about Our Verses (of the Qur'ân) by mocking at
them, stay away from them till they turn to another topic. And if Shaitân
(Satan) causes you to forget, then after the remembrance sit not you in the
company of those people who are the Zâlimûn (polytheists and wrongdoers,
etc.).” [Surah al-An’aam]
It has been reported that Ibraaheem Ibn Adham was once invited to a waleemah (wedding feast), so he attended
it and found people there who were mentioning a man that didn’t come. They were
saying: “He is truly lazy.” So Ibraaheem said: “I brought this upon myself,
such that I attended a place in which people are backbiting one another.” So he
left from there and did not eat for three days. What has been recited of poetry
with regard to this is:
“And restrain your ears
from hearing vile speech
Just as you restrain
your tongue from speaking it
Because when you listen to this vile speech
You are a partner to
the one saying it, so reflect.”
Source: Guarding the Tongue, from the book: al-Adhkaar of Imaam an-Nawawee, p.
18-19. Translated by Isma’eel Alarcon. Published by al-Manhaj.com
[1]
This means that there are
permissible forms of backbiting. See the post: “Let us Backbite for an Hour for
the Sake of Allaah’ on this blog.
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