How To Handle A Nammaam (tale-bearer)

Umm ‘Abdillaah al-Waadi’iyyah wrote:

Nameemah means conveying a speech from a people to another in order to sow dissention among them. Allaah the Mighty and Majestic has condemned the one who has this trait and He forbade listening to his speech. He said: “And obey not everyone who swears much, and is considered worthless. A slanderer, going about with calumnies. Hinderer of the good, transgressor, sinful.” [68: 10-12] As regards His saying, “Going about with calumnies,” it means carrying tales about in order to corrupt relations between people and to stir up discord among them as contained in the Tafsir of Ibn Kathir.

 Nameemah is one of the major sins. It is recorded in al-Bukhari and Muslim from Ibn ‘Abbaas that Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu alayhi wasallam) passed by two graves and said: “They are being punished, but they are not being punished for something great but whose (punishment) is great. One of them used to spread Nameemah while the other does not protect himself from his urine (when relieving himself).” The Prophet’ saying: “But they are not being punished for something great” means that Namimah and not cleansing oneself from the impurity of urine are little things and easy to avoid, but their punishment is severe. [In a hadeeth from] Muslim: “A Nammaam (one who spreads Nameemah) will not enter Paradise.” A poet said: “Nameemah does not unite between two companions; due to it, two friends will hate each other.”

Know that whoever conveys tales to you will convey tales against you. Advise whoever possesses this trait with gentleness, softness and beautiful admonition. But if he/she does not desist, warn your brothers/sisters against him/her and avoid his/her company because Allaah the Mighty and Majestic said: “And when you (Muhammad) see those who engage in a false conversation about Our Verses (of the Qur'ân) by mocking at them, stay away from them till they turn to another topic. And if Shaitân (Satan) causes you to forget, then after the remembrance sit not you in the company of those people who are the Zâlimûn (polytheists and wrong­doers, etc.).” [6: 68]

Source: Adapted from: My Sincere Advice to Women. See p. 53-62 by Umm Abdillaah al-Waadi’iyyah. Translated by Abdus-Samee’ Abdus-Salaam and Ishaaq Abdur-Raheem.