How to Repent from Backbiting

The noble Shaykhah Umm Abdillaah al-Waadi’iyyah wrote:

Ibn Qayyim stated in his book entitled, “al-Waabil as-Sayyib (131): “It is reported from the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wasallam) that the expiation for backbiting is to seek forgiveness for the person whom he has backbitten by saying: “O Allaah forgive us and him.” This hadeeth was mentioned by al-Bayhaqi in ad-Da’waat al-Kabeer’

There are two opinions concerning the matter and both have been reported from Imaam Ahmad. They are: Is it sufficient in repentance from backbiting to seek forgiveness for the person whom one has backbitten? Or is it necessary to inform him and seek for his pardon? The correct view is that there is no need to inform him; rather it is sufficient to ask forgiveness for him and to mention good about him in the places where he was backbitten. This is the view of Shaykh al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyah and others.

Those who are of the view that it is a must to inform him considered backbiting to be like financial obligations. But the difference between both is apparent because in financial obligations, the oppressed would benefit from the return of the like of his property. If he wishes, he collects it and if wishes, he gives it out in charity. But in backbiting, such is impossible. What happens in such cases is the opposite of the objective of the law-giver. This is because it would annoy the person and hurt him if he hears what he has been accused of; it may outburst his enmity and he may never forgive him.

This is not its way; the Wise Law-giver neither permits nor allows it let alone obligating and commanding it. The pivot of the Sharee’ah is upon the removal of corruption and minimizing them and not acquiring and perfecting them, and Allaah the Most High knows best.

Source: My Sincere Advice to Women, p. 52-53 by Umm Abdillah al-Waadi’iyyah; transl. by Abdus-Samee’ Abdus-Salam and Ishaq Abdur-Raheem, published by Dar Makkah International.